Riccardo - Student

“The moment that determined that I was going to come here was a year and a half ago. I live in Quebec, Canada, and when I finished high school, I had to enroll in a program for Cegep, which is a special kind of school between high school and university. After high school you had this general kind of education. Usually in most countries you go to high school, which is general education, and you go to university, which is very specialized. In Quebec we have this intermediate school which is called Cegep, and it is for specialization for any kind of domain you want. For example, you study so many things in high school, and you can get a bit lost at times. . . I think we’ve all been there. Cegep is a remedy to that: you choose a specific way to go. After being lost due to having interests in many things, including music. I am even learning music here: Tibetan flute. I already play music back in Canada, so music was one of my interests. I play harp back in Canada. I have music as one of my interests, and I also have natural science, history. . . so many interests. Finally, after having thought about so many things, my best option from the options I have was social science. In the neighborhood where I live there is Cegep. It is the only Cegep in Quebec which offers the international project in social science. It is a two-year program, like most of the Cegep programs, which prepare for university. There’s a three-month trip, which is part of the field of study, the program. It’s in the third semester… so this is my third semester in Cegep. We have a three-month trip abroad. We had a choice of either Senegal or India this year. India was in the Tibetan community in the Indian Himalayas, so that’s where I wanted to go. So, one year and a half ago, I chose this program, then last year, approximately the same time, I made my choice for either India or Senegal, and I got into the India group. One year later, here I am sitting in front of you and talking. I don’t want to go, I don’t want to leave now.

What my hopes are… hmm… let’s see. I’ve been doing a lot of studies, I have a big binder. So if I’m talking about my studies, I’m hoping to finish that before I leave, because every day we have to study. If I’m talking more about the community, I’m just hoping to appreciate every moment I have. I try not to take any day for granted: the people I meet here, the experiences I’ve had, teaching two French classes I teach every day. I want to open myself up to all the experiences I can have. So, that means meeting all the people I can. To enjoy every day the best I can: that is my highest hope.

I have an older brother who travels a lot: he is staying in Thailand right now. He has been there for 13 months, so more than a year. We are very close, and there is one thing he told me before leaving for this trip. He told me to learn how to say no, and to respect myself and my limits: even to define them. I think most of my life I’ve been a nice guy, sort of a yes man, and never wanting to have conflict with people. I think of myself as a conflict averted person, I am conflict averse. I don’t feel good when there is conflict around me, or when social order is disrupted. When staying with my foster family, and with tensions that have happened within my group of friends, and meeting all these people, I deciding to say yes or no to an experience, or anything really. Because of these, I think I’ve overcame this yes man attitude, or way of thinking, and not trying to escape the situation: escaping. I used to always compromise. It is a sort of compromise where I always let the other person win, because I am so scared of conflict. I realize that I need to respect myself. I left a relationship while here. I am over here in India, letting them wait 3 months until I come back, and I am here not feeling anything anymore, not feeling the same way. I am living here, and have always this in the back of my mind going on. I want to open myself up to new experiences, and if I have this ringing at the back of my mind, I can’t. There is this thing at the back of my head, so I said… no. That day I learned how to say no, I learned how to define my limits, and I learned how to be proud of myself. I grew, in that sense. That is probably the biggest thing I’ve learned in my time here, and I’m very proud of that.

Thanks for coming over to talk to me, I’m happy to share.”

Riccardo - Student

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